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we've decided to scrap the Godzilla essay and a zine we're working on, until we have some time to do it, but when we're continuing work on our plural and otherkin projects ^^ We're still very new to learning time management skills and we figured out how to use our ipad as a scanner for comics :D we have a small/mini one coming soon ❤️
- Haüs

Hello! It's been a busy week, and we've started doing internal work, which has been heavy but worthwhile. Our system communication has increased. College started back up, we switched our major, and have been spending time refreshing and building math skills. (I can't believe it's been four years since we've used algebra, and now math is an interest of ours 🤣)
We've decided to move our writings and zines to another account that's focused on our system, mostly for accessibility and it's easier to have an account where we hold our writing, zines, and experience living as a multiple system. Speaking of which, I've decided to make a zine on navigating college as a multiple system!

Our upcoming projects:
-College plural zine
-Godzilla is anti-capitalist: An essay and history on the role of pop culture icons in anarchist and punk movements
-Gap year (A zine about lockdown as a high school student, burnout, and the weirdness of COVID-19. told in three parts, and includes journal entries.)

Woe (and joy) Finals be upon ye! Wednesday is finals and then the end of the semester, which means i will have finished my first semester of college and then winter break starts, and i honestly feel really excited and hopeful. I started making small zines and working on a back-up portfolio for my art. I saw my mom recently and reconciled with her, and both of us got coffee and talked. I'm also headed towards 6 months sober and working on a comic based on my journey with recovery, it's going to take awhile but it's definitely worth it!

Current Mood: hopeful

man, college has really been a whirlwind for us as of late and fall semester is almost over (thank the gods). We're currently working on our portfolio and a few new comics and zine projects, as well as rearranging this account.

We've made a tentative decision that for the safety of others who were involved, and out of respect for our wishes to move on and heal, that all posts dealing with and tagged gallifreyan tradition are going to be locked under private access. This blog, however, will still be active while we build our new blog for system and plurality purposes.

thank you,
Yellow (CoDis/Confession Dial system)

Dear yellow.

Dear Haüs, the abyss at sea and the following that surrounds it.

Dear ancestors that carry me and haunt me in the night, telling me stories of old gods, dusty dark corridors on a planet that resembles much of dune in days once past, things that are as old as time, and her sisters- death, pain, and light.

Dear Chicago bulls hat and purple and yellow Jordans, whose feet that fit in them are not of one but two people- both from the same planet, as ever confused as our dads, walking a different earth but carrying the same weight that he did in past lives.

Dear Taurus, who is an echo of me, fictive in form of story but yet so beloved. You are loved, even though you may not know it- the stars are in you and envelope your soul, you hear everything like a fly on the wall from frequency to forms. May your laughter shine through like how your eyes glow.

Blonde boy, fiery boy, how you carry yourself out to sea each morn, a spirit so anxious yet so loving and hopeful sitting on the docks of a worn down part of our lives that for some reason materialized, yet never existed before. There is a spark in your eyes that people think Is insanity. Don't let them put it out.

Dear home, eight point otherkin Star, the woods off the side of the town, beaches of sand that cover the side of the tower in our mind.

Dear confession dial, locking us all in yet reminding us that solitude can bring others closer together- may you treat haus and Alex kindly.

Dear body that holds all of us, our stories, pain and hurt, but also our laughter, joy and wonder towards the world that spins fast, and madly on. may we find time to love, listen and learn to be kind to others as we heal, learning to work with each other instead of dividing ourselves through anger and control.

May we let go of the past, and move towards the future, which shines bright for us.
May we accept the things that we cannot change, and choose to understand and have courage to change what we can.

Yours truly, cosmic (🧭CD system)

small update- i got sick this week, and i was supposed to go to pride, but i wasn't able to unfortunately, but taurus who and wirelines is almost done- i have to get a USB drive and transfer the files from my ipad. ever since reddit has taken a hit and imploded, i've also decided to resume working on HTML and CSS, which is a pain in the butt to learn but has also helped me with creating a website for my art and comic portfolio.

Current Mood: accomplished

hello, i've been busy lately as of the last two weeks- i got sick, my left arm has been acting a bit off, and my glasses broke. bleh. The good news is that i'm finally on testosterone and I now have finished making two zines, one is named Taurus who? and is about my experience with being fictionkin, identity, and acceptance of who i am- it'll be up soon :)

i start college soon, in about 5 months and i'm honestly excited for it- i'm starting in community college and transferring to a four year and i'm happy that i'm finally moving up a bit in the world.

"i hope you feel better soon."

those five words caught me COMPLETELY off guard while texting with other people- it had come after i had explained the results of the MRI for seizures, and my diagnosis of psychogenic nonepileptic seizures.

long story short, way back in july after about a decade of searching for the cause of absence seizures i've had since childhood, i had been diagnosed with Functional Neurological Disorder. my eeg came out normal, but they had found something slightly concerning in my MRI that they want to monitor. other than that my brain is just wonky, i guess XD

i go in next month for my neurology appointment and MRI- i'm frankly a bit worried about it, the waiting has honestly been the hardest.

Current Mood: anxious
Current Music: hand of god-john bellion

New year, New shopping list. i've been going through marketplace in search for a sewing machine that's decent so i can start working on quilting- a new hobby i've picked up recently but have put in the dragon's hoard of hobbies. i've found it's also a great way to teach myself to slow down and to be a bit more in the 'now' instead of worrying about the future. there's a goodwill near us that occasionally gets sewing machines, but it's mostly rare to find them.

i got a five below gift card for christmas, and bought an otter squishmallow.. now i'm obligated to expand the army. i don't know what i should call the army of stuffed animals.. maybe the midnight managerie, lol. i'll think on it.

so i've been sick for two weeks, which left me stuck in bed watching crazy ex-girlfriend and job hunting, as well as journaling.

my mom called me a week ago and we talked about making amends to people we have hurt- she owes me one for personal reasons, and she's working on it.

it's been years since i've last seen her- my brother even moreso. i'm hoping all the damage that was done to us can be now undone soon, and we're getting there towards healing..

just who are you?
(I noticed i was lacking an introduction post so here it is)
hi there, my name is cosmic and i am a 21 year old neurodivergent trans writer and artist. i mostly write about being fictionkin, Mental Health, and disability, most of this blog will be my musings of anything as well as my journey through life. i also post some original works and such here, like my art.

what are your kintypes?
Good Question! I identify mostly as fictionkind and therian, my kintypes are:
- an Alternate Universe version of Yellow Diamond from steven universe where pink diamond surrendered as rose quartz early on and i ended up helping her escape homeworld.

-Embers, a noncanon timelord from a crossover between doctor who and steven universe. in my timeline Gallifrey existed alongside homeworld and was a version of a democratic monarchy that was destroyed in a war with White Diamond. I was the doctor and romana's son and the sole survivor of gallifrey, alongside a quartz soldier.

-Taurusadvoratrelundar/Taurus, a noncanon Gallifreyan from doctor who. i was romana and the doctor's kid in that timeline, was evacuated from gallifrey as apart of a program named "the sanctuary initiative," a last ditch effort to save the remaining people on gallifrey during the last great time war. children who were from gallifrey were pocketwatched and sent to live on earth as human until they were 14, and then had the option to attend a school that was for galllifreyans/timelords, much like the academy on gallifrey except alot more like a college.

-husky/wolf mix, this is more of a recent awakening for me and most of my memories involve alot of snow and running.

i saw that you listed gallifreyan as one of your kintypes. are you involved in or affiliated with gallifreyan tradition or new gallifrey?
i hate having to put a disclaimer for this one every time, so i'm gonna say it once:
i'm not affiliated with gallifreyan tradition or new gallifrey, nor do i condone or support ANY of the actions of cassandra oakdown/gabe/what have you have done. gallifreyan tradition AND new gallifrey is no longer in operation and all cultural reconstruction efforts were disbanded. i was also 15 at the time, in high school, and dealing with alot of mental health issues/trauma already. i want nothing to do with them and i NO longer have anything to do with them or their circles.

what's your favorite comfort food? does your taste in food change based on shifts?
i absolutely enjoy a good bowl of ramen and ribs. i do have a recipe book and plan on reviewing recipes, especially ones i made. the tag for that is cosmic's concoctions, mostly because there are a few good drink recipes i've made that i'd like to share. i do get cravings based on kin shifts.